Deepanjan Nag's Magnum Opus

Bell has taken the liberty of renaming me to Deepsadjan . I’m deeply sad . Should I ring the panic bell since I can’t register for Bill Pay with my mangled name?

Dosa for lunch. Haldiram’s bhel , cakes and 2 chocolate bars for dinner. No matter how hard I resolve to remain off junk food, I’m hardly successful. What’s more, one of the straps of my slippers snapped and I had to walk home barefoot. To top it all, an innocuous tweet generated intensely cold vibes.

I really don’t know how long I can drag on like this. I guess it’s time to resign to fate and wish adieu to the good life once and for all. Wish I could pour my heart out. When I do it one day, the flood will stun the world.

It’s awful. Crocin, please help me.

Got the SIM replaced at the Vodafone Center and things seem to be fine now.

Nothing seemed to work today. Yahoo! Messenger was really cranky. Messages were not reaching me. And then all the buffered messages flooded my mobile even though I was online on the desktop. Mails sent by TTK weren’t reaching me. Repeated requests elicited repeated replies, none of which reached me for hours. The biggest tragedy: my SIM card began to act cranky big time. SIM CARD IS NOT VALID was flashing on my screen. The only solution was a restart and even that would work fine for only a few seconds (sometimes minutes) before the same message flashed again. I must have restarted my N72 more than 20 times – only to finally give up. I’m unreachable over the phone for all the frivolous fans. Mani and I swapped SIMs to see if my phone was the real culprit. Nope. Even the Vodafone Services page had a big SORRY message!

Can you believe it? I thought I had insulted these guys enough and that the ATM would now function smoothly. The contrary has happened. Not even once did I find it working after the mail was sent. Maybe I need to fire another salvo. I’m left with Rs.7 in my purse.

Submitted the courier Didi had sent. Arun, I was told by Ashwini, had left TTK. Back to square one!

I had to choose today of all days to visit TTK. Luckily, I decided to call the HO before visiting. The recorded voice promised to connect me to an executive…and made me wait for over a minute before promptly disconnecting. Dialing the extension number (of the gentleman who calls himself ‘Mr.Arun’) didn’t elicit any response either. Multiple attempts later, I was suspicious. I called the call centre, only to be informed that the HO was closed today and tomorrow. Cool, but can’t these clumsy creatures send the right voice response on holidays instead of treating them as April 1st?

I don’t remember the last time I had called home and was happy. Didi called up at 11 in the morning to tell me of her latest crusade (nothing less!) to elicit the evasive Discharge Summary. The doctor and hospital authorities ganged up to show their usual humane side and refused to budge. What finally came through (as I understood from the conversation) was a piece of paper with a quickly scribbled summary (that I’m sure doesn’t adhere to the norm) and the doctor’s attestation. Isn’t it an irony that a cardiologist can be so heartless? I’m hoping (but not expecting) TTK’s appetite for extraneous detail is satiated and the insurance money is reimbursed. If not, I’m taking my case to the Consumer Court, come what may. I’m waiting to learn a lesson or teach a lesson to the lesser taught.

It’s now the turn of Hindusthan Health Point to harass me. While the doctor has agreed to write the Discharge Summary below the hospital letterhead according to the finicky TTK’s twisted tastes, the hospital is playing hard to get. I just don’t know what sort of morbid game is being played here but the whole ordeal is…typically Indian. Hope is beginning to fade. Perhaps it’s time to call it quits.

The ICICI offsite ATM at the HP Petrol Pump on 15th Cross is often out of order and now I’m losing my temper. Perhaps I’ll have to redo the mail I had sent to HDFC Bank (5 years ago, in Ranchi) when I discovered, to my infinite annoyance, that an offsite ATM on Circular Road was lying as usual - defunct, when I needed some quick cash. What heighted my rage was the 2+2 kms I walked to and from another offsite ATM, which too wasn’t working. The Circular Rd. ATM was immediately pressed back into service and an apology mail sent assuring me of unhindered access to the machine. They kept their word. Not once did I discover the ATM out of service after the incident. It’s now time for ICICI Bank to face my wrath. More importantly, though, it’s high time I went to sleep. It’s nearly 4am!

Life's surely a joke at TTK. After a month of spitting fire at TTK and receiving nothing but utter disdain, my only hopes to restore normalcy in my life was to personally visit the hallowed HO. Prior to the visit, I had barked so hard and so long over the phone at the folks from TTK, the window panes in my house rattled! I can't even begin to describe how my queries were answered. A bunny would have responded better. The auto ride was long and bumpy. The driver and I spoke languages that had nothing in common. The fare was Rs.125, which turned out not to be that fair after all. My appointment was between 2 & 3 in the afternoon, and in keeping with my tradition, reached before time. Killed the buffer time taking lunch at a Kerala restaurant. The rendezvous at the HO was like a sword meeting the shield. To put it tamely, I was ready to grant someone frequent flier miles to Hell. Someone calling himself "Mr.Arun" [sic] had to bear my brunt, and he bore it well....

Dark Matter, the unaccounted-for matter constituting 97% of the Universe was partly discovered yesterday. And who would have thought this will happen at my home! Post dusk, every matter in my house was dark. The pillows were dark, the tables were dark, the computers were dark, the chairs were dark, the kitchen was dark, the buckets were dark and even Andromeda was utterly dark. Basically, everything that mattered was dark. Reason: the light-shedders and all other electrical appliances were powerless. The ever-so-charming Mani meekly confessed having forgotten to pay the electricity bill. Ah, so the secret to our localized dark universe was unveiled! I took the opportunity to get acquainted with our fortnight-old neighbors- man, wife and 1-year-old daughter. I bribed the kid with a Kit-Kat to win her over and she readily fell for it. We are now fast friends. Slumber-time was menacing. The weather was very humid and mosquitoes were gathering in full force. Mani unearthed some repel...

The title runs contrary to other emotions surging through me, but this is no time for sweet talk. I feel embattled after 2 days of demoralizing correspondence (nay, more of soliloquy) with TTK Healthcare. Remember the mail I had sent on Friday? It fell on deaf ears (or blind eyes). When I called up the holy cows yesterday, the tremors affected my spleen. Imagine being told more than a month after original bills are submitted that they aren’t able to proceed as 3 original bills/certificates are still awaited from my end! And when do I receive the good news? Only when I enquire why the reimbursement is taking so long! What’s more, I had submitted everything in original the hospital had given me after mom’s treatment was over. I have nothing more but photocopies. In the course of the past 2 tumultuous days, I must have called TTK more than 5o times. 10 calls were never answered, or hung up when the automated message was being spelt or when the executive had had enough of me. 20 ...

Why don’t some people realize they probably aren’t audible when the listener has a pair of earphones plugged in? The only way to deal with such retards is to crank up the volume. Stupidity, like the sky above, is boundless.

It’s a lost cause. All tailors but one were absconding when I approached the shop with yet another mercy plea for my altered jeans. The loner professed being deaf to all languages except the vernacular. I figured where this would be going and decided to show up yet again tomorrow.

Submitted the courier Didi had sent. Arun, I was told by Ashwini, had left TTK. Back to square one!

Mom is in ICU and I'll have to leave for Kolkata tomorrow.

It has been a long lull. Most importantly, Andromeda is back with me. Blogging shouldn't be a problem anymore.   I feel terrible about being very hard on some folks in the past few days. I seldom lose my temper, but adverse conditions conspired against me and I feel cheaply. When I realized my folly, I was quick to apologize though. Still, the 'fit of hysteria' was most uncalled for. I sincerely regret it.   I miss Mantu.   Achievement of the day: 1 more pair of designer briefs added to my already impressive collection. When will I stop!