Deepanjan Nag's Magnum Opus

This one will go down as a classic, I am sure! I gave the Telco Colony group a real scare this morning by writing the following post: A policy change. This group has swelled enormously since its inception. We also take great pride in the kind of discipline we have been able to inculcate in spite of the growing numbers. But it also breaks my heart to turn away the many people who apply for membership. I fret at night thinking of the sin we commit each time we say NO to a membership request. The memory haunts me. To make matters worse, we also constantly keep deleting posts deemed inappropriate. But what right do we have to judge others? Who are we to decide what stays and what goes? It’s time to deal with the guilt of misplaced authority. So starting tomorrow, we will see some drastic changes: All membership requests will be accepted. We say No to no one, even to those who have nothing to do with Jamshedpur. We allow all kinds of posts. You’ll have absolute freedom to post anything...

3 mobile phones ganged up in sync this morning and alarmed me at 7.

Funny World Thanks to Nitin for the email…this softcopy is now under my prized possession! Brought back many memories.

I had come across this video from NYTimes a few months ago and unearthed it again today. The Gray Lady has a terrific sense of humor.

I’ve 2 pillows, both suffering from a weight problem. The first one had a caesarean over a year ago and since I never bothered to stitch it up, it’s been losing mass ever since. It seems to have a half-life of 1 year. The second one had an unexpected but normal delivery a few days ago. Half its content just came out before I stuffed it back in. I didn’t know asexual reproduction was in fashion again.

Gardhab Das created by cartoonists brothers Neelabh and Jayanto Banerjee was a comic section run in the Indian youth magazine Target . The main character Gardhab Das had a donkey face and was always depicted wearing a kurta and pajamas . His main trait was his singing or lack of it. He was a perpetually unemployed music teacher. Famously known for disturbing the peace with his vocals and his harmonium , he was always at loggerheads with his landlord, being a penniless 'singer'. In various strips, he gets jobs as a siren for the fire department, as a weapon during a war, and he also manages to fight and get the better of people like Tike Myson, a play on Mike Tyson and Bruce Lee. He also trains the double of Mykill Packson (Michael Jackson) on his tour to India. His only weapon: his vocals and his harmonium. The name Gardhab itself means 'donkey' in Sanskrit and Das is a common Indian surname . The strips were simplistic, and their appeal lay in the funky illu...

I am bored and ready to rue What should I do I have no clue

The shorts I’m currently wearing are so tight around my waist, my legs have gone limp for lack of blood supply. I’ve been waiting for almost a year for the elastic to slacken, but it seems to be in no mood to relent. My growing flab isn’t helping either. Compare this with my Rupa briefs whose elastic is so dysfunctional, they would have surely slipped all the way down had it not been for the trousers I wear over them. I had no choice but to retire Rupa long ago.

I couldn’t pull myself away from this cute little bull dog. Since I couldn’t lug it around, I decided to harbor it in my blog. I must now think of a name.

Santosh is either away or slumbering in my room. I almost always have my eyes glued to the screen as my fingers get touchy with Andromeda. This grants our cozy room a level of privacy not extended to any other in our dwelling…which makes it a hot favorite for round-the-clock male strip-teasing. Each time the bathroom is occupied, sometimes even when it isn’t, and we have visitors and someone needs to change, my room hosts a quick show…albeit without on-lookers. By the way, I’m always awed at the dexterity with which guys change their trousers (and briefs) with a wrapped-around towel.

Beneath my clothes… I’m really nude!

I’m in a state of shock. And I’m not speaking metaphorically. I’ve been receiving electric shocks occasionally of late from the keyboard and even the optical drive. Problem is, we don’t have a 3rd wire. The monsoon has made things worse. Our learned landlord felt the need to save on costs is more important than salvaging someone’s life. You should meet him. He’s so humble, he’s firmly grounded…and thought so were we. If you see my hair standing on end, don’t be surprised.

If I could write like this , I would never stop blowing my own trumpet. Perhaps I could even command an entire orchestra to play my tunes! Alas, I can’t even play the flute!

It has been almost a week since I last wore my glasses. I’m not missing it particularly, except when a pretty creature walks by.

Startling, but irrefutable. It was time to finally come out with the truth and face the problem head on. My friends don’t even have an inkling. Fie on them, I say! Each fill leaves me on a high and I promise never to crave for it again. But it’s only a matter of hours before I have this irrepressible urge for yet another fill. Alas! I’m seriously addicted to mango juice.

Until these donkeys lifted me. My blog will miss so many important details of my life. Wish I could tell. Maybe someday. Stay tuned.

She was turned on Then power was gone   I put her to sleep And guilt ran deep Morbid poem conceived by load shedding induced dementia

Choosing a shirt in the morning for office is like choosing a groom for your daughter. You know they were all good once upon a time. You know they're ruined now and not worthy anymore. You know time is running out. You know you must choose one among them. You arrive at your choice by the process of rejection, not selection. You reject all initially, then become a bit more tolerant. Once you acquiesce, you discover flaws so glaring, you almost decide to go back to square one. Finally frustrated, you give up and accept fate. You still harbor a secret desire to accidentally discover the right one.

I went to Big Bazaar on my way home from office to buy something for my laptop, which turned out to be unavailable. Wanting to make the most of an otherwise wasted visit, I decided to buy some briefs. I spotted them, liked them and then realized I didn’t know which size fits me. I was too lazy to avail of the trial room to ‘look inside’. I moved on and found a shirt that caught my fancy. The size ‘L’ once again put me in a predicament though. Was I size ‘L’ or ‘XL’? Oh, forget it! The shirt went back to its stack. Finally, it was the turn of a pair of size 32” jeans to allure me. I bought it without a moment’s hesitation, only to gradually realize as I was heading for the exit that I perhaps wore 34”. 32 or 34? 34 or 32? Must be 34. Yes, it’s 34! Convinced that the 32” years were past me by a couple of years, I had a trying time exchanging  for the right size. Since it was past 8PM, I couldn’t get my jeans altered and was asked to come the next day instead. It’s too m...

Wouldn’t it be great it we had to shave less regularly, say, once every 28 days? ;)